I’ve been reading a sad amount of iffy dialogue recently from overuse of names to unnatural sounding speech to wrong punctuation. So, I decided now would be a great time to do a quick reminder of how to do dialogue right. And we all love “listacles” so here is one for you:
1. Give each character their own voice.
Sometimes that’s easier said than done. Not only is it tricky to change voices in the midst of a great conversation that is just flowing from your fingers, but sometimes you aren’t even sure how different people would speak differently. My advice: let the words flow. Give your muse space to work and get the words on the page, then go back and fix them so that they sound like individuals speaking who don’t all sound the same. (I have to admit, I am guilty of this sin and need to follow my own advice, which is why I put this as #1) Some of this comes back to knowing your characters—are they snarky? Are they a prig who would never drop an f-bomb even in their dreams? Do they speak in sentence fragments or the opposite, in strictly grammatical complete sentences? The point is to make each character sound like themselves, and not just everyone else.
2. Don’t overuse names and monikers.
We don’t use names very often when we speak. Just sit and listen to your friends and family talk. Do they preface every sentence with the name of the person they are speaking to? Nope. I can guarantee they don’t. Sometimes, when they really want to make a point they’ll say the person’s name. Sometimes, when they are in a conversation with a number of people, they will say the name of the one person who they are addressing. But other than that? We just don’t do it. And that goes for titles and other monikers as well. (I have one client who loves to use the phrase “young lady” or “young man” when an older person addresses a younger. That’s fine, once in a while, but when it’s used in every single piece of dialogue? Nope. Stop it.)
3. Use contractions and bad grammar.
We do not speak grammatically—or at least, not all the time. It’s drilled into us to write using the most accurate grammar we can, but we don’t speak that way. We use misplaced modifiers (to the confusion or amusement of the people we’re speaking with), we end with prepositions, we don’t speak in complete sentences. And we do use contractions—a lot. Even when writing historical fiction people use contractions—less, perhaps, but they use them.
4. Learn your punctuation
Even though your character may not speak grammatically, you still need to punctuate what they say correctly.
In American English, we put the ending punctuation mark inside of the quotes: “Hello,” John said. In British English it’s put outside and the quotation marks themselves may be single, not double quotes: ‘Hello’, John said.
If you have action just before dialogue, put a period at the end of that sentence because it is a complete sentence separate from the dialogue.
Susan held up her hands. “I’m innocent, I swear!”
If you have a tag before the dialogue, capitalize the first word of the dialogue.
Janny put out her hand and said, “So nice to meet you.”
If the dialogue tag is after the dialogue you need a comma in place of a period and don’t capitalize the first word after the dialogue: “So nice to meet you,” she said, putting out her hand.
5. Use dialogue tags sparingly, and if possible, make them action tags.
“Said” is a great word. Don’t hesitate to use it. The dialogue, character’s body language, or the situation may speak to how the dialogue is spoken. You don’t always need to say, ‘he shouted’ or ‘she growled.’ And please, please, make sure it is physically possible for someone to say the words in the way you say they do—we cannot laugh words. Really. Try it! We can laugh and then speak and then laugh some more, but you can’t laugh words.
If you need or want a tag—because they are many people speaking and you must identity who says what, or for whatever reason—try to use an action tag instead of a dialogue tag. What’s the difference?
Here’s a dialogue tag: “Hey, whatsup?” Peter said strolling up to Nikky.
Here it is with an action tag instead: Peter ambled up to Nikky as she was sitting and waiting for Mark to arrive. “Hey, whasup?”
We know who’s talking. We can even imagine how he says it without the author having to tell you, “he drawled”. His ambling pace gives the impression that he’s in no hurry and he’s not going to speak enthusiastically. If we want to give the impression of an energetic greeting, we could say “he bounded up to Nikky” or something similar.
6. Add motion to conversations.
People don’t stand stock still when they are speaking with someone (or sit like a statue). They shift their weight from foot to foot, they lean forward, they may scoot to the front of the chair they’re sitting on or, the opposite, lean back. People move their heads and their hands. Show us these fidgets and movements. They add authenticity to your dialogue and can be used to show how a person is speaking or listening.
7. Watch those accents.
Yes, people speak with accents and, yes, it’s fun and interesting and distinguishes characters if you put them in. Just don’t overdo it. Make the dialogue readable, please.
8. Don’t repeat yourself.
Sometimes it’s tempting to give a dialogue tag that repeats what is said in the dialogue itself. Resist the urge. “Don’t tell me not to shout! I am not shouting,” he shouted.
9. Don’t write meaningless dialogue.
We say meaningless things all the time. You meet someone in an elevator: “Hey, nice day, isn’t it?” “Hi! How are you?”
We really don’t care the discuss the weather or want to actually know how someone is doing. We’re being polite. Your characters don’t need to be. Just get to the point, or if there must be a greeting, make it super short.
“Hey John, what’s up with Rachel? I just saw her running down the hall, crying.”
10. Know who your characters are speaking to.
If I am speaking to a child, I’m going to use simpler words. If I’m speaking to a person in authority, I’m probably not going to curse. If I’m speaking to my spouse at the dinner table, I’m not going to spurn contractions or worry about the words I use or how grammatically correct my sentences are (with my adult child, I will do the later because they’re an editor and will frequently correct me; on the other hand, I will curse more with them than I will my spouse—it’s an age and relationship thing).
Think about who your character is (see #1 above) and who they are speaking to (to whom they are speaking to be grammatically correct) to determine how they talk.
And, finally, I’m not going to number this one because it should be obvious: read the dialogue you’ve written aloud and see if it sounds natural to your ear.