Is it possible to have too much “show” and not enough “tell” in your novel?
First, a quick reminder of the terms:
Showing is when you have an entire scene, complete with action, outer dialogue, and, most of the time, inner dialogue. We see what is happening in real time as it happens and are shown how the protagonist responds—a shiver at a hand on the small of her back, bile rising up in his throat as he looks at a corpse.
Telling is being told what happened in a particular scene, usually in the voice and through the point of view of the protagonist. There is rarely dialogue and any action is seen through the eyes of the protagonist. We understand what is important to them by what they relate to the reader. Instead of that shiver in the previous paragraph, we would be told that the heat of his hand made her feel good or he was disgusted at the sight of the dead body.
But how do you know which you should use?
The common wisdom is to only show common, ordinary actions if they have some significance or if they show something about the character. If we need to know how someone feels about a situation, then it’s best to show the reader rather than tell them. Doing so brings the reader into the story, making them feel a part of the action.
But when the protagonist is doing something people do commonly (getting dressed, eating, driving from one place to another) it’s rare that the reader needs to know all the details. Just saying “Rosalee got in her car and drove to the restaurant” is good enough if nothing of significance happens on that drive. We don’t need to know all the details.
And yet…
In the audio book I’ve been listening to just about every move the protagonist made was described. Was I annoyed? Bored? Only a little bit. I kept expecting something to have significance to happen and by the time it didn’t we were on to something else. Yeah, I got a little tired of the heroine opening her car door, putting her key into the ignition and listening for the old car engine to reluctantly torn over despite its age and the freezing temperature. Although, I do have to admit that I started hoping that her car would break down just so this common and frequent sequence of events would have some conflict, some importance, some reason why the author was showing this.
I would have been much happier if I had simply been told that the heroine got in her car and drove to wherever she was driving. I don’t need to be shown this.
On the other hand, if I was told that she had a fight with her boyfriend and then all I see is her being mad at him, I would be really unhappy. If something important happens—something where feelings are felt, possibly even decisions made, or things said (intentionally or not)—I want the details. I want to experience that fight. I want to know that her heart is racing and feel her eyes sting with tears of anger.
Readers want to be a part of the experience. They want to live the story. If we are told about a scene, we don’t get to do that. It’s all second-hand information. Yes, if it’s told well, we’ll get more insight into the pov character—what they think about what’s happened, how the feel about it—but a well written scene that is shown will give us all that information as it’s happening so we can ‘live’ that scene in real time.
But sometimes it’s just not necessary to show. Sometimes it would be better to tell.
So, look at your writing. Take a good look at your story. Are you showing or telling? Why? Why did you choose to do one over the other.
Does your reader really need all those details you’ve relayed as you’ve shown your protagonist getting up out of bed, going into the bathroom and peeing before stumbling into the kitchen in search of coffee? Or can you just tell us that they did so? Consider what is important what you want your reader to experience. Do you need to show or do you want to tell that scene?